Failure is an event, not a state. Some of the most successful people in history had monumental or repeated failures before, during and after their successes. The list is long and impressive -- Abraham Lincoln lost elections frequently before becoming president, Thomas Edison failed more than 2,000 times trying to invent electric light, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and the list goes on. But they all knew something we should strive to understand: To win, you have to learn to fail.
Recognizing failure as a potential positive experience can lead to trying new and creative things that can enrich our lives. Not recognizing it can lead to what some call the "definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."
The key to such recognition is rooted in the way we see ourselves. There are two aspects to ourselves – our true self, also known as our "identity" or self-worth, and our role-self. Our role-self is defined by our performance in a role. Examples are such roles as selling professional, spouse, friend or little league coach.
You might not be the world's best little league coach, but that does not mean that you are any less of a person. It does mean that you could do something to make yourself a better little league coach–or sales professional–if you make it a priority.
For example, let's say that I had an unsuccessful attempt to get an appointment with a referred prospect, or I am unable to get a particular deal closed this month, both examples of selling failure. If I take those mistakes for what they are – simply mistakes that can be corrected – then my self-worth is intact, I can learn from the tactical mistakes and do better next time. If I take those failures on my true-self side instead of my role-self side, then it can have a devastating impact on my self-worth. I could begin to think -- "I am just not very good at selling. I'll never be successful in this career." Multiply that thought by a couple of dozen events, and you have self-doubt, lack of motivation, maybe even depression.
Keep event failure in perspective. Learn from it. Even thrive on it. Ask yourself three questions after every sales call, and watch your results improve dramatically:
1. What did I do right?
2. What did I do wrong?
3. What can I learn from this and do differently next time?
You will soon be turning failure into wins!
Al Simon is president of Simon, Inc., an authorized licensee of the Sandler Sales Institute. He can be reached at www.SimonSaysSell.net.
